If you asked me 5 years ago whether I want to get married, the answer would be a straight NO. You see, marriage for me isn’t as clear-cut as it is with another people. I grew up with no intention of getting married and it is something I never put in the back of my mind. Maybe this is caused of the constant bickering between my parents while I grew up that put a dent to the notion. Or maybe the society where I live in define marriage more as a necessity than a choice in life. Whatever the reasons were back then, the appeal of marriage never existed until I began to see it from a different perspective.
Growing up, I observe marriage as an act of validation in the society. It’s not hard to think this way when you grew up in the society where marriage is all the older generations can talk about and what the younger minds look forward to. I don’t necessarily associate marriage with negative connotation… most of the times. I understand it is part of adulthood but never regard it as a priority.
I always imagine chasing down your dreams, travelling the world and experience new things are more important than settling down. However, the more I grew up the more I realised marriage means differently to different people.
What my young mind failed to see is the transcendental truth about humans: we need to connect with another human being. Of course, we are able to survive by our own but having someone in your life is always the better option. When I strip away the negative elements, the foundation of marriage feels sacred and special to me.
Sure, I still see desperation and social pressure that affected young people around me which completely boggles me. But, I have also witnessed what a beautiful connection marriage can bring between two lonely souls.
Here is the proof, my parents who bickered most of the time before have begun to rely (and appreciate) more on each other as they grew older. While my female friend who didn’t settle for any handsome suitors in her twenty found the perfect gentleman that matched her needs when she turned thirty.
Last week, I watched an old episode of FRIENDS where Joey made a joke about marriage. He asked Chandler how does he feel knowing you’re gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday? When I watched the same episode in my teenage years, I laughed at the snide remarks and didn’t think twice. But now at the age of 27 I felt perplexed and thought, “Well, Joey, what’s so terrifying about that?”.